If Only Is A Wish Too Late
by Kallias Grimm
Summary: Kurt and Dave run into one another three years after a break up. Dave wants to talk but Kurt won't let him, instead he runs away again. He then goes on to find out that it's too late. Inspiration and quotes from The Cure song "Cut Here". One shot.


Authors note/Disclaimer: I have been listening to The Cure a lot recently and I decided to wrote a little one shot based on the song "Cut Here". Angst was unavoidable.

I don't own any of the characters, obviously!

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It had been six years since Kurt Hummel left high school and it had been three years since he had seen Dave Karofsky. Three years since their final kiss and their unwanted departure from each others lives. It still hurt to think about the time they spent together, and Kurt remedied that by refusing to let his mind wonder back and reminisce.

'Kurt?'

He turned in the street and looked for the source. He peered into the bustling crowd of passers by before realisation struck. In a hushed voice he whispered, 'Dave…'

Just a few metres away stood the love of Kurt's life. The same man who had blossomed and evolved before his very eyes. He had gone from a cruel, confused teenage boy to a kind, passionate young man who used to hold Kurt with an intensity he had never experienced since and probably never would again.

'Kurt? Oh my god!' the shocked man cried, taking the few steps towards Kurt before throwing his arms around him.

Kurt almost buckled, not only from the force of the embrace, but the emotions that came with it. He breathed him in - that same old familiar smell of body spray and the faintest trace of talcum powder. Kurt's heart was racing and before he could stop himself, he had his arms around the larger mans middle and was holding him as tight as he could.

'I can't believe it…' Kurt whispered, his face buried in Dave's front, finding the familiar spot under his chin where he used to snuggle so often all those years ago.

'I know… I've missed you so much.' Dave replied, his grip like a vice, something Kurt had missed so much.

They said nothing else for what seemed like forever. They just held each other and instinctively returned to what they had become accustomed to. Dave remembered Kurt's slim arms around his waist, the way he nuzzled his head like a kitten into the front of his neck and the way his fingers gently tickled the middle of his back.

Kurt remembered the all consuming warmth that came from Dave, the way his body seemed to cover him completely and protect him from all harm, but most of all he remembered that smell. He had smelt the same since he was a teenager and there was something so unbelievably comforting about that.

Those familiar thoughts, smells and feelings were so consuming that Kurt didn't notice the bags under his eyes, the tiredness of his face or how tense his body was. All he could think of was how good it felt to be back in his arms.

'Come and have a drink with me,' Dave said softly, leaning back a little to look down and smile. 'Let's talk.'

Kurt felt his cheeks flush. He wanted to, so much. He needed to be with him. He needed to stay close, never let him go. This was a second chance and Kurt knew he had to hold on to it.

But he couldn't. He was a proud man, he always had been, and looking into those beautiful hazel eyes just reminded him what had happened. The arguing and the hiding. The fear of being discovered, the years of creeping and hiding and denying who they really were. Even after they left high school, Dave could never muster the courage to be completely honest.

"I can't!"

"You can! Why do you refuse to come out?"

"I'm just not ready!"

"You're ashamed of me! Ashamed of who you are!"

"That's not true!"

"I can't take this anymore! I can't let you behave like this anymore!"

"I love you Kurt, I thought you knew that, I tell you all the time!"

"But you never tell anybody else!"

"Who cares what anyone else thinks?"

"That's my point!"

"I said no Kurt! I am not ready!"

"You keep saying that, over and over and over again! When are you going to be ready?"

"I don't know!"

There had been so many arguments like that. They usually ended with tears and embraces, but the last one didn't.

"I can't take this anymore! I can't stay in a relationship like this!"

"I love you Kurt! Why isn't that enough?"

Kurt hadn't answered. He couldn't think of one. He had just left. Ran away. That was the last time he had seen the man he loved, and looking at him now was enough to bring years of repressed emotion to the surface.

'I can't. I'm sorry, I have to go.' Kurt stammered, quickly wiping his eyes and brushing his hair from his face.

'What?' Dave asked, his face dropping.

'I will Dave-' Kurt insisted, his hand on his arm.

'When?' Karofsky demanded, taking Kurt's hand in his own and squeezing.

'Soon.'

'Come on,' Dave tugged him a little, ignoring his refusals, 'come and talk to me.'

'I wish I could but honestly, I just don't have the time.' Kurt gabbled quickly, his eyes locked on the ground, refusing to meet his.

'I'll ring you Dave,' Kurt said as he turned away, 'I promise.'

'Kurt please, you have to stay, we have to talk-'

Kurt walked quickly away, almost breaking into a run. He mixed into the busy crowd, hoping to simply vanish into thin air. Kurt looked over his shoulder and felt his heart break all over again as he saw Dave standing their, his arms hanging limply by his sides, a look of total loss on his face. Kurt jerked his head away, unable to stand that look for longer than a few seconds, as he charged down the street to his home.

It had been two days and three hours since Kurt last saw Dave. He had spent most of that time in bed, his face buried in his pillows as he tried to forget everything. But regret wouldn't let him.

You stupid, stupid man… too busy just to sit and have a drink, just to talk. I miss him so much…

He jumped as the phone rang. He reached over with a groaned and grabbed it, holding it lazily to his ear. 'Hello?'

'Hey Kurt, it's me.'

'Hi Finn.'

'Look, I'm in town this weekend and was wondering if you'd like to meet up?'

'Sure… why were you in town?'

'Oh didn't you hear?'

'Hear what?'

'Dave Karofsky got married yesterday.'

Kurt sat up as a bitterly cold shudder ran through him. He pressed the phone hard against his face, his fingers clenched around the plastic. 'What did you just say?'

'Karofsky. He got married.'

'To who? How…'

'He married Sarah Parker,' Finn explained, blissfully ignorant that every word he said was like a punch to Kurt's chest, 'she was in the year below us at school, remember?'

'Yeah… yeah I remember. I've gotta go Finn.'

Letting the phone fall from his hand, Kurt held his face in his hands, dropped to his knees and sobbed. Loud, unapologetic wails escaped from his throat, warm tears falling down his cheeks at a seemingly unending rate. He curled up, bringing his knees to his chin as he continued to weep, the sobs becoming so strong his whole body was shaking and his midsection ached.

As the tears kept coming, Kurt's mind reminded him that it was too late. He had had his chance and he had missed it. God he missed him, he missed him so much. But it's over now. He's too late.

He's gone.


End file.
